While I'm in this flurry of LJ posting, might as well do this one too...

When last we left our poor fashion-disabled journaler, she was taking a week or two off from wearing her new boots, in the hopes of healing her poor abused ankles. This morning I put them back on for the first time. No pain! I could walk just fine! Hooray! I'm keeping them off while I'm at my desk, so that I can ease back into it, but I was certainly pleased to have them when I was trudging around in the snow this morning cleaning off my car.
I have decided that I didn't wear high heeled shoes enough during some crucial developmental period, and thus don't have the correct muscle structure to start doing it now. Or something like that.

As I've talked about previously in my LJ, I'm trying to adopt a more "grown-up" look. To that end I bought some new more business-y clothes, and a pair of practical but a little dressy boots. The boots have about a 1 1/2 inch heel, maybe 1 3/4 inch. It's a very chunky heel, and just a smidge taller than on the dress shoes that I wear all the time with no problems.

But it seems like something about my ankle being held rigid and in that weird tippy toed position is just not working for me. I tried them on in the store, then wore them a lot in the following week and they were fine. But then I did a lot of walking on my trip a couple weeks ago, and ever since I got back I haven't been able to wear the boots without a lot of pain in my ankles. So I'm back to wearing sneakers and looking sloppy and not liking it. I'm hoping that if I take a break for a week or so that then I'll be able to ease my way back into them again, so I don't have to fork out more money to buy another pair.

Edited to add: Here's a link to the boots in question. Look at that heel - it's really not very high!
http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.do?BV_UseBVCookie=Yes&vertical=CLTH&pid=054T0072000
I need to buy a different brush, one that is rounded to encourage the ends to turn under instead of sticking up. And it appears that I will need hair gunk to make this work. Oh bother. And I can't for the life of me get it to part where we had it yesterday, so I look all bowl shaped again. But I think gunk will help.
Good haircut today. I'm on the third (or is it fourth?) visit with the same hairdresser now. This is close to a record for me. He's a very fun and flamey gay black man. And a good hairdresser. He's actually bothering to learn about my hair, and made a plan for it that really paid off on this cut. We've been growing out the sides so that it flowed better into the lower parts, instead of just cutting off abruptly and kind of bowl like. So we were both really happy with today's cut.

The trick is to keep it looking something like this. I paid special attention today while he was blowdrying it, and I figure that I'll experiment with trying to keep it more stylish looking. All part of the self-improvement, act-like-a-grown-up campaign I've been easing my way into these past few weeks. It started with changing my diet to include less sweets and more fruits and vegetables. Following that I've started trying to slowly upgrade my wardrobe and pay more attention to my appearance. Which has mostly entailed not wearing sneakers with everything, and trying to dress a little more professionally for work. Trying to take myself a little more seriously, so other people will do so as well.

Tomorrow I need to shop for a winter coat to go with the new look. The one I have now is kinda ski-hill looking, and to make matters even worse, the zipper doesn't undo, so I have to step out of it. Not exactly the effect I'm going for.
Many of my clothes are falling apart, especially the cold weather clothes. So this weekend I did a little shopping. Nothing fancy, just got a few flexible pieces to fill the gaps. But I think I look nice today. I'm wearing pair of fine wale black corduroys, in a nice cut for my body. And a purple V-neck sweater that's a very flattering color for me (at least according to the coworker who gave me the compliment). And because I'm wearing black pants, I'm wearing my black "power shoes", which always make me feel good.
Have a baby. Wait 15 months. Chase and carry a 25 lb toddler around. Instant weight loss!

I'm finally back to my pre-pregnancy weight (actually a couple pounds lighter). By the time I got around to weighing myself after Liam was born, I was only up 10 lbs from pre-pregnancy. But that 10 lbs just stuck (not that I was doing anything in particular to encourage it to leave). In the last few weeks, however, the pounds have just been falling away, courtesy of Liam's growth spurt and activity level.

Hopefully I can keep this up - my pre-pregnancy weight wasn't exactly optimal, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, with Eric out of work, I'll be picking up a couple extra days a week of sitting on my rear in front of a computer, which is likely to slow down the progress.

I'm so vain

Jul. 9th, 2005 08:13 am
After pondering my eyeglass situation some more, I decided to go in to Lenscrafters and buy a cheap pair of glasses to see me through while I waited the 2 weeks for my good glasses to be ready. I was managing with my 5 year old prescription, but I figured after 2 weeks of that I'd probably have a humdinger of a headache. And then, to be fair, there was the vanity factor. Those of you who know me know that I pay considerably less attention to my appearance than most, and try not to worry myself about mainstream standards of beauty that I'll never achieve anyway. But even so I didn't relish the thought of spending the next two weeks in my mid-90's throwback frames, especially with this eGullet gathering coming up and the inevitable photgraphs that will be part of it. So, vanity rears its ugly head.

On the side of practicality, however, it does make a great deal of sense for me to have a backup pair of my current prescription, given that it does take me 2 weeks to get a replacement pair and my baby is rather fond of grabbing at glasses. What with Murphy's Law and all that, if I have a spare I'll never need them, but if I didn't have them Liam would probably throw my new glasses onto the concrete the day after I pick them up.

The frames on this temporary pair are very similar to my previous pair, so I don't look much different. See for yourself )
I found a couple of pairs of cute funky little frames, but since I was getting just plain plastic lenses, I was worried about trying to peer through thick lens edges if I had a pair of glasses that barely covered my eyes. So I went with something a little safer. My real pair are nicely funky and modern though.
Sad to report that I'm still feeling under the weather. But managed to have a good Mother's Day anyway. Went to bed early last night, so got up with Liam at 6:30. Around 9 he was tired but not going down for his nap, and I was too exhausted to hold him, so I went upstairs, collapsed into bed, and let Eric take over. Slept until 11 and felt much better.

Decided that I wanted to celebrate Mother's Day by getting a hair cut (it's been months), so after Liam woke up from his nap we went off to the mall, where I'd made an appointment at a salon. Did my part to support consumer culture, buying 10 t-shirts (one in every color of the rainbow, plus some), 2 nursing bras, and an awesome nursing tank top with Got Milk! written on the front of it. Spent about $150 - which sounds perfectly reasonable until you realize that I spent $100 on the bras/tank top, and $40 total on the t-shirts. We also went to Chez Pierre, a rather bizarre new addition to the Ann Arbor mall scene. It's a store specializing in food and wine imported from France. I got a random bottle of Cote du Rhone rose that caught my eye, and Eric got some salt caramels. I nearly got sucked in by a little jar of truffle mayonaise, but at $22.50, I managed to resist. Pierre himself is very charming, with a thick enough French accent that it can take some work to decipher what he's saying.

The haircut turned out pretty well, I think. The stylist took me seriously when I said wash and wear and no products - I just don't have time, let alone inclination. Sometimes it's hard enough just to get a shower. Anyway, it's very short and closely cut on the neck, short above the ears, has a little more length and body up top, and swoopy bangs. I'm trying to get better about keeping up with my hair, so I made an appointment to see the same person in 6 weeks for a trim. I haven't had a regular hairdresser in years, so hopefully this one will work out and I'll keep her.

Home to Great Oak for a tasty dinner. Sadly, I'm having an issue with food right now. In addition to being exhausted a bunch of the time, the other main symptom of my being not quite healthy is that my stomach gets mildly upset about 15 minutes after I eat or drink anything. I still get hungry, and food still tastes good when I'm eating it, but I just feel gross after. Very annoying.

And now we're in the midst of the nightly struggle for to get Liam to bed, something which has begun getting harder and more time consuming of late. Must revisit what we're doing and see if it's time for a new approach.
I've touched on this a little bit before in my LJ, but I think it's worth revisiting.

Being pregnant has been very good for my body image. For the first time, I really like looking at my naked self in the mirror. I've really loved watching all the changes my body has been going through, and how powerful and strong it feels. I've always been a little disconnected from my body. Didn't pay much attention to my dress, hair or general appearance. Partly because I'm lazy, partly out of some women's studies/feminist refusal to let these things matter, and at least partly because I just didn't want to have to think about it, because I didn't like what I saw.

So being pregnant has helped to change that. It hasn't completely "fixed" it - I still don't like to think about my fat jiggly thighs and butt. But I am definitely living in my body a little bit more now. I know that staying in my body is going to be really important during labor, so its really good that pregnancy has made me connect, rather than disconnect even more (a reaction I could easily see happening to some women).

Whether I'll be able to maintain such positive thoughts after labor is still up in the air, of course. My firm, burgeoning belly giving over to a loose, flabby, stretched-out mass is no doubt going to put my body image to the test. But breastfeeding seems like it will provide another avenue for me to learn to connect and appreciate my body for the wonders it can do.
You know you're at a conference with a bunch of women when the tchotckie bag includes cosmetics. A box set of Covergirl, to be specific - eye shadow, eye pencil, lipstick and nail polish.
Pregnant bellies are beautiful!

I didn't much like my belly before I got pregnant. It was a little too ample for me to ever really be happy with it, and soft and flabby to boot.

But pregnant bellies are different. I don't mind my belly being big now, because it's big with a purpose. And it's anything but flabby - the skin is stretched taut and everything underneath it is firm and burgeoning with power and strength. "I am woman, hear me roar," it says. I can't help but touch it, stroke it, wonder at its form and glory in its size.

====

OB Fat Acceptance note/ advance response to inevitable comments: This is all about me, and my belly. Whoo-hoo fat acceptance movement. Whoo-hoo to all of you who have managed to accept your own soft and flabby bellies for their own merits. I am not so strong as you, but I am pleased to like my belly now, and I'll worry about the rest later.
It was so nice to be able to put on a pair of jeans and a sweater that fit last night. I haven't been able to wear clothes like that in a couple of months - casual, but much more presentable than stretch pants and maternity T-shirts. With that and the haircut, I was almost stylin'... The maternity jeans make me look really pregnant, though.

As I feared, I think I cursed myself when I posted about how well I have been sleeping lately. I haven't had a really good night's sleep since I made that post. :-(
On the premise that this is still a holiday week and many, many people are taking today off, I'm going to leave work early.

This morning, [livejournal.com profile] erikvolson sent me a picture of myself SMOFcon that made me say "Wow, I need a haircut." Then I realized the picture was taken last December, not this December. Which did not change the sentiment, but just made me think that I probably look badly groomed the majority of the time. So I think I'll go to the mall and pay too much to a fancy salon for a haircut. Any Ann Arbor folks have a hairdresser they like? I've been here over 6 years and still don't have a regular hairdresser.

While I'm there, I'm going to stop into Motherhood and buy some new maternity clothes to supplement my hand-me-downs. I just found out that I'm going to a business meeting in Lansing next week, and my choices for what to wear are very limited to non-existent. And in February I have three days of conference and three fancy dinners out in DC, all of which will require something a bit more upscale than my current wardrobe of overalls and stretch pants.

Tonight my dad and stepmother arrive to spend the weekend, so I can't get home too late. This should prove much less stressful than my last parental interaction, thankfully.

Off I go!

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tammylc

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